Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do vagina's smell?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
