Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
