I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
