i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
