Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
