its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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