It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
