just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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