You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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