i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
