When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
