Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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