I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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