we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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