Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
