its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
