My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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