Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
