so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my being single is dangerous.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
