I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
not ubering you a puppy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
