It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
