True but thats because hes a fetus.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
