I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
one might say we're banned from that church
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
