did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i will never coherently bang her
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
