I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
