You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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