Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
