He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
