She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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