rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
