will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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