and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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