I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
