Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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