On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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