You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
