hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
