please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
