i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
