i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
