it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Randomize
