Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
