I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Green mimosas i think yes
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
