is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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