I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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