He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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