I didn't shave. On purpose
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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