I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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