Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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