operation harelip BJ is a go
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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