I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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