I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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